I Talk To ED

Yes, I do talk to my eating disorder. My ED voice is very loud and powerful. Telling me that I am fat, worthless, etc.. One minute he tells me to overeat and the next he tells me not to eat. I have to tell ED many times to “Shut Up” and leave me alone. Sometimes I say it in my head, but other times I scream. Yes, I scream at ED at the top of my lungs. Otherwise, his voice is so loud and distracting that he won‘t listen. Sometimes I can’t even concentrate because ED is so loud. I can try to distract myself and read, crochet, or journal but ED doesn’t want me too. ED is selfish and only he matters. Sometimes he never shuts up. However, now I found my voice through treatment. ED’s voice is getting smaller and My Voice is getting bigger. ED does not like that and tries to get louder than me. There are days that I give in and listen to him. There are days that ED is so happy because he got what he wanted. Recovery is progress not perfection. However, those days of ED being loud are getting less and I am learning to Kick ED’s Butt. 🐷