ED and the Bullies

One of the reasons that I loved ED so much was that he protected me from the bullies. I was bullied my whole school career. Constantly made fun of for being different. I had to have speech therapy and back then you were pulled out of class and had it in a closet. I had physical issues with my legs turning in when I walked and kids picked on me for that. Once, in eighth grade, I had a girl pull a knife out on me and say she was going to kill me. I was then picked on for that. I was always picked last at gym class and cried all the time. Kids were mean and cruel growing up. As I write this, I realize that ED was always there to protect me from the bullies. I would have a bad day at school and the snack would be ready on the table for me to make my day better. This continued as an adult. I worked at a fast food restaurant for 5 years through high school and college. Customers could be mean. I would have a bad day. I would turn to my friend ED. The food always made it better. I would have harder jobs as an adult working in the child abuse profession. People were really mean when you are trying to take away their kids. Again ED was there. This time it was a full blown binge every time I had a bad day with people. ED always made me feel better.

Things are different now. The bullies from high school are no longer there, the mean customers, the unhappy parents are gone. The only bully is myself telling me I am not good enough. ED is still there trying to convince me he will make me feel better but I know better now. I don’t need him. I am learning to tell ED and the bullies in my head to be quiet. I am learning to not use food to make me feel better and to Kick ED’s Butt.🐷